Thursday, August 16, 2012

I would never learn...

I know I should learn to love the things that loves me, not the things I love.
But I just wouldn't learn!
Why do I keep on falling in love with the ones that doesn't care about me?
I tried, I really did...
I thought he liked me
I thought he is deceant
So I chose him
But now that I am completely I'm love with him
He happens to not like me as much as I think
Or even
As much as he thought.

Why do I always make the same mistakes?
Now that I couldn't and wouldn't end this
I have to suffer everyday
With him totally ignoring me
If I didn't rush
If I didn't wanted a boyfriend
If I didn't wanted so bad for someone to love me
This wouldn't have happened 
I wouldn't have to stay at home
Study EILTS just because he wanted me to
Couldn't do anything I like just because he thinks it's a waste of time 
Wait for him to reply my simple message and couldn't even dare to ask his about
Every single night,
Waiting for him to walk in the door just to see his face
But in return
All I get is a look
That look of regrets and tiredness 
As if it was all my fault
As if I ruined his life

I could walk away and end this
But I couldn't
Physically and mentally couldn't do it
I like him
A lot
More than I should
I gave him a lot 
More than I could
I tried

I kiss him in his sleep
He leaves in the morning without a single look
Leaving me speechless on the bed
I remember everything he says to me
Even the bad ones
But he forgets everything I say
Even the important ones

I'm in love with a man 
That doesn't even care about me.

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