又來

發現自己每次來這裡打文章的時候都是因為失戀
有夠笨
都不知道第幾個了
為什麼每次都是大男人
怪老爸嗎
誰叫他是我上輩子的情人?
這樣?
看上的 都是那種男人野性的魅力
卻忘了後面會給我帶來的壞男人脾氣與壓力
好討厭
可是卻好愛好愛
像笨蛋一樣
可不可以找個長得很兇 可是心地很好很愛我的男人呢

傻傻的

9天

結束了
我哭不出來
因為真的哭了太多天
原本假裝什麼都沒發生
但還是逃不過
他提了
還是提了
不適合
是真的不適合嗎
我把最終要的兩樣東西給了他
第一次
還有我的心
恬叫我不要陷太深
我知道
我當然知道
可是這哪是我能控制的呢
愛了就愛了
再壞再爛的也還不是愛上了
愛逞強的我
平平靜靜的跟他分手了
我還要當朋友
他卻要逃避
我怎麼遇到的都是懦夫
為了他決定要做的事
我還是要做
我要變白變瘦變漂亮變氣質
不要再講髒話
不要再講話不經過大腦
或許
這樣會比較容易交到男朋友
或許
他會再喜歡上我
男生 說什麼喜歡你的直接 都是假的
女人們 跟你說 這全是假的
他們都喜歡乖乖的 假假的人
沒有男人是喜歡你的真面目
他們要的是完美的女人

現在最可悲的不是我單身了
是我沒有朋友可以傾訴
真的是
在最慘的時候才發現自己朋友是多麼的少
誰叫自己對朋友的定義要求那麼高
真可笑
想出去逛逛
可是這樣大概會自己哭著回來
因為沒有人可以跟我一起嘻嘻哈哈
朋友啊 快回來吧
我需要你們

I would never learn...

I know I should learn to love the things that loves me, not the things I love.
But I just wouldn't learn!
Why do I keep on falling in love with the ones that doesn't care about me?
I tried, I really did...
I thought he liked me
I thought he is deceant
So I chose him
But now that I am completely I'm love with him
He happens to not like me as much as I think
Or even
As much as he thought.

Why
Why do I always make the same mistakes?
Now that I couldn't and wouldn't end this
I have to suffer everyday
With him totally ignoring me
If I didn't rush
If I didn't wanted a boyfriend
If I didn't wanted so bad for someone to love me
This wouldn't have happened 
I wouldn't have to stay at home
Study EILTS just because he wanted me to
Couldn't do anything I like just because he thinks it's a waste of time 
Wait for him to reply my simple message and couldn't even dare to ask his about
Every single night,
Waiting for him to walk in the door just to see his face
But in return
All I get is a look
That look of regrets and tiredness 
As if it was all my fault
As if I ruined his life

I could walk away and end this
But I couldn't
Physically and mentally couldn't do it
I like him
A lot
More than I should
I gave him a lot 
More than I could
I tried

I kiss him in his sleep
He leaves in the morning without a single look
Leaving me speechless on the bed
I remember everything he says to me
Even the bad ones
But he forgets everything I say
Even the important ones


I'm in love with a man 
That doesn't even care about me.
help...

August 10th

It was the day
the day we admitted our love for each other

kept on telling myself not to rush
but i wasn't rushing
it was just simply because we were both already in love
i guess
at least i am
i am in love
at last
after 3 years of total bash of self confidence and pride
i thought i was not worthy of love anymore
nobody wanted me
although i just told myself that im not beautiful enough
telling myself that the standards here are too high
that guys only wanted tall girls
they only wanted skinny girls
girls with fair skin
girls with pretty eyes
girls with clear skin
girls with silky hair
girls with sweet voice
girls that were GIRLY

i just kept on lying to myself no matter how much i think im beautiful on the inside
i know im beautiful
i love my height
 even if im short, i can wear higher heels and not look like a giraffe
i love my curvy body
 even if some clothes don't fit me
i love my tanned skin
 even if they are different than the others
i love my bright eyes
 even if they are small
i love my skin
 even if they are kinda rough, but i don't get big pimples
i love my long thick hair
 even if they are not silky smooth
i love my deep sexy voice
 even if they sound like a boy sometimes
i love my cool attitude
 of which most girls don't have

i love myself
and i am not afraid to say that
who cares about the beauty standards here
ive been keeping myself in a box just because of these stupid rules!
i am beautiful
i know i am
and now
he knows too

today is our first day
even though it had only been a week
but we know we liked each other since the first day we've met on the bus to Kenting
he fell in love with the way i smooth my hair to one side
and i fall in love with him just because he's so cool and sweet to me

Dear God
ive been waiting  patiently for my other half to arrive
and now he's here
please
please
let us be together as long as we could
please help us get through any trouble me might face
i really like him
i really do
Thank you.

이철

你昨天晚上很誇張耶, 到底是不是gay啊(笑


那就要看你喜不喜歡我嘍

我的眼睛終於腫了

以前不管怎麼哭都不會腫
今天考完試
一口氣看了3部哭死人電影

千與千尋     (講到家人 哭)
建築學概論 (無法相愛 哭)
戀愛進行時 (愛人病死 哭)

哭得我死去活來

韓國電影哭就算了
我連看動畫都會哭
是不是壓抑太久了
都快瘋了我一直哭




話說金來沅頗大包 呵

What am I doing with my life?

只能偷偷的在房間裡哭

I miss my old self sometimes.

This is me, 5 years ago.

and then 5 years later.....

NOPE. not showing you. HAH!

There's always a catch to something so perfect.

看著管理學
想著Dr義大利

What do i do?

原來是這種感覺

沒想到有一天我會遇到這種事
安慰一個失戀的好朋友
原來是這種感覺阿

我也不知道該怎麼說
好像
真的覺得自己有個好朋友了
雖然說對方有沒有把我當成好朋友 我不知道 也不重要
重要的是
我有感動到
好像被信任

哈
我還是很在意信任
爸 媽
你們什麼時候才要信任我

不一樣

被他說我們價值觀不同 無法跟我聊
很想說
"你現在才發現嗎? 我們一直都很不一樣"

但在這種重要的時刻
你說了這句話準備走出去
真的有傷到我

SO?

啊我就孤僻
怎麼樣

沒差

反正習慣了要迎合別人
我只要給個意見都會被拒絕
隨便
因為我不重要

BL

看漫畫裡人家告白失敗哭了
我也跟著哭了
真的那麼怕失敗嗎
都快一年半了吧
不試試看是會有什麼結果
被打槍 也僅此而已
而且
如果不是被打槍呢
說不定就不用每天靠吹風機取暖了吧
冰冰的床
真的很難受

受不了

全聯的那個小姐態度真的很差
之前去買眼線筆
打開後有瑕疵
不管怎麼轉都轉不出來
我就拿過去想說換個新的
結果他打開後一轉就出來了
可能我用的方法不對
就想說算了
可是他轉過頭 蓋子蓋不起來
那隻眼線筆是設計轉不回去的
我就說他轉過頭現在把我的東西弄成這樣蓋不起來該怎麼辦
他就完全怪說是我不會用 產品本來就是這樣
說什麼 "你說轉不出來我就幫你轉啊"
態度超級不好
然後我想說算了不爭了
老娘心胸寬大 280塊 不算什麼
我就跟他要張衛生紙 想說包起來拿回去 不然會沾到
他就從他身後拿包衛生紙丟在櫃台上給我
用丢的
很不甘願
把我東西弄壞了態度還那麼差
真的很生氣
現在我還得犧牲掉一段他轉過頭的才能蓋回去


氣到哭了
不知道怎麼了
以前的我很容易生氣
動不動就罵人
只要是錯我一定罵
這幾年
我的氣全部變哭著出來的
可能
壓抑太久了吧

情人節

一個人吃著爛得差不多的釋迦
邊聽Adele-Someone Like You不停的重播
我哭了

哈 太傻了
竟然因為太想要一個人讓我抱著睡而哭了

壞習慣

少了煙味
我睡不著

死小孩

幹

這種教育法我看他以後會不會感激你

媽的

那有人這樣教小孩的啊

跟阿公搶遙控器還敢大小聲

沒人阻止就算了

我去把他遙控器拿過來

竟然是我的錯?

操

死小孩還敢打我瞪我

他媽只不過是進來說不可以這樣 有沒有跟姊姊說對不起

他爸還敢過來跟我笑 說我有沒有給流氓打過 笑他兒子是流氓

我操

旁邊的小混混邊吃飯邊笑我說他們在玩

靠杯

小孩子都因為要遙控器在怒吼了

還說在玩?

幹

這是什麼教育方式

一個兩個去安慰他

他這樣會學乖嗎 會知道他做錯嗎

還敢給我賭氣不吃飯

是我孩子的話我早就打死你了

如果你給我爸養你會死得更慘

我只不過是瞪了我爸一眼就被抓著頭髮拖到房間裡用棍子打了

換是你早就跟我弟一樣被用椅子打了吧

媽的

真的很討厭小孩子

如果以後我真的有小孩八成是被上帝詛咒的

要不是等生活費我早就打包行李走人了

不行

its not you
its us
its me


yet another forbidden love

Dinner Alone. Again

starve myself for 12 hours and i get this

well it's good and all but...

i just hate eating by myself

i mean,

you're all the way from home

and doing stuff on your own is hard

why do i have to have dinner by my own too?

no matter how good i eat

how much i love the food

how delicious it is

eating alone is just...

天賜的物

沒有你們我活不下去

超推薦那把神梳

進補

自己考不好至少也讓朋友們考好吧

大家期末考加油~

這是什麼鬼天氣

昨晚通宵寫小抄

抄不完剪貼就好

考試都夠緊張了

助教還轉心監考

這啥天氣冷成醬

手指關節痛又酸

腳踝老毛病就範

邊寫考卷手邊抖

暖暖包無法離手

離手手就馬上痛

痛到都無法移動

好不容易交卷了

踏出教室就颳風

邊坐機車邊發抖

可憐司機小把刀

才剛要上床睡覺

滴滴答答滴滴答

天竟然下起雨了

孤單的聖誕

都是公司理財

害我聖誕節都沒得好好過

待在家裡趕報告

看到臉書別人貼的狀態跟照片就好傷心

why does everything has to be so last minute?

yeeshh!!!

以後

找不到工作就去當刺青師傅吧(你以為很容易嗎==