Isolation : Day 2

Some bitch turned off my air-conditioning
Woken me up at 9:45am shit
My alarm is set to go off at 10am
I STILL GOT 15 MINUTES LEFT BITCH
Turned on the stupid fan that so so far away and kept on sleeping

Tossed and turned
As expected
Couldn't fall asleep
Went on my everyday Buzzfeed Routine
And Instagram but after awhile my cellphone starts to burn my hands so I finally stopped procrastinating and went on with getting ready

He called last night at 2am
His mom told me that he went out with his Canadian friend for a drink
So this time I wasn't so mad
He just doesn't get it
By just sending me a simple text about what he's doing is enough to stop me from worrying and shut me up
And he gotta make me go ask his mom what the hell he's doing
URGH
Anyways
We chatted a little about his day
And he asked about the Akamoto I put in his bag

To be honest
I don't know what I was thinking when I put it in
Is it to prevent something from happening?
Or to encourage him?
It just felt like I'm saying
"If you really wanna cheat on me, at least use a condom."
Now I'm here worrying if he'll come back without it in his bag anymore
Then what should I do?
I'm the one that put it in
Really hope he's  not that stupid

And finally before hanging up he said
"你還蠻關心我的."
Seriously?
You only notice it now?
Such an ass

Alright I must admit I'm pretty happy to hear it
But also a little sad
Cuz it means he thinks I don't take care of him before up till now
WTF
After all I did for him for a year and he only notice when i put a condom in his bag
Douche

11:15am I'm going to work
Damn the weather
One second it's pouring rain, then it's skin-cancer sunshine
Haven't eaten anything until 4pm
Not really hungry though, might be because of M.C. (Mariah Carey LOL)
Surprisingly I'm in a much more cheerful mood today


...




..




.


NOPE

I guess I tried too hard not to cry and I finally failed
I BROKE
Cried for a good 20 minutes I think
Sent too much messages to him that I think he's gonna block me like he did last time

Am I really that unimportant to him?
So much that he has the time to take photos but none to text me?
That he can sit and drink coffee with his mom the whole afternoon and not even call me?
For the whole fucking day?
Are you really that busy?
That you can't even spare 10 minutes on me during your whole 24 hours?
Seriously?
Called and hang up in a minute
Making me feel like the idiot that waited till you call and wasted my sleeping time cuz I know you're busy and I couldn't disturb you

I feel so small
What am I doing
I really hope it's just emotion talking
This is so stupid
But it's so unfair
Life is so unfair

你是男人嗎
是男人的話為什麼不讓我依靠
整天要我獨立
我要獨立的話就不會跟你在一起了

你不在的這段日子我非常獨立
像回到大學一樣獨立
我每天再忙也會想你關心你
你卻完全不回我
我還是得繼續過下去
但當我夜深人靜需要你的時候
你卻1分鐘內打發我
你說我會怎麼想

你真的有心要繼續下去嗎？




又是一篇很長的日記
這7天剩下5天了
痛苦才正要開始
5天是很漫長的





加油吧！ 讓他驚訝！